Aafia Siddiqui

In August 2014, Islamic State in Iraq and Syria (ISIS) offered the release of American photojournalist James Foley in exchange for releasing Dr. Aafia Siddiqui from jail. Following the murder of James Foley, Islamic State again demanded her freedom, this time in exchange for a 26-year-old American woman kidnapped last year in Syria while working with humanitarian aid groups. Two years ago, Afghan Taliban made a similar offer in exchange for Amy Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl, who had been missing since 2009. In 2010, the Taliban demanded her freedom in exchange for British aid worker Linda Norgrove. In 2011, parents of the two young men who were shot dead by Raymond Davis, had said they are ready to withdraw the murder case filed against him if the US authorities allow Siddiqui to return to Pakistan as a free citizen. Calls for Siddiqui’s release were made by al-Qaeda-linked kidnappers in Algeria in January 2013.

All of this raises the question: Who exactly is Aafia Siddiqui and why are all the western stooges (Al-Qaeda, ISIS,T aliban) rallying for her release from another Western country? Some recently declassified documents shed light on the bright past of Pakistan’s finest neuroscientist. Due to machinations of a global Zionist organization, this information has been obscured from Pakistani audience till now.

Sister Aafia was a precocious child, and used to distribute religious leaflets through the neighborhood, earning both her mothers’ praise and brownie points from God. She had to sacrifice the comfort of her home in Karachi and a blissful future as a child-bride, to move to the United States for graduation. Being the bright student she was, she easily got admission into Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) from where she graduated with honors.

Like every true patriot Muslim Pakistani, Sister Aafia had learnt how to use a gun and to fight hand to hand, while she was serving undercover in the Great Satan i.e. United States. She was a great scholar who wrote a paper titled “Islamization in Pakistan and Its Effect on women” in 1992 after winning a $5000 grant from MIT. In the paper (which is soon to be made part of KP’s curriculum) she explained how Western Capitalism degraded women, unlike Islam that had empowered and enfrenchised women since the 7th century. During her Ph.D in cognitive neuroscience at Brandeis University (a Zionist-funded University in US), she argued with her professors that ‘a scientists’ job was to discover exactly how the laws in Holy Books worked. One of her Orthodox Jewish Professors told the Boston Globe that she was always trying to convert him to Islam.

After finishing her Ph.D, she focused her energies on combating the evil tides of Social-Democracy and Secular Humanism by translating Shaykh Abdullah Azzam’s Masterpiece “The Lovers of the Paradise Maidens” into English language. She was a firm believer (as devoted as most Beliebers) in the effectiveness and supremacy of Afghan Taliban and their feminist credentials. She was a regular reader of Pakistan’s finest Literature magazine titled “Zarb-e-Momin” (Strike of the Momin). The title of the magazine was a post-modern take on Muslim culture and similarities with Counter-Strike. Some of Pakistan’s finest contemporary fiction writers, including but not limited to Javed Chohdary and Orya Maqbool, were regular contributors to Zarb-e-Momin. She tried her best to convince her husband—a mental slave of the west—to accompany her to places where Muslims were being oppressed brutally. She presented him with different options (Bosnia, Afghanistan, Kashmir) but he refused to dedicate his life for a greater cause and divorced Sister Aafia in October 2002. Had he accepted the offer, the couple would have moved to a Jaish-e-Mohammad camp in the scenic valleys of Azad Kashmir, helping in the cause of Jihad.

Sister Aafia chose to marry Ammar Al-Baluchi, related to the great Al-Qaeda planner, Khalid Sheikh Mohammad. Aafia made one last trip of the US in 2002 for some important logistical tasks handed out by some mysterious but devout Jihadis. Between 2003 and 2008, Aafia worked undercover as Burka Avenger in a leafy hamlet near Swat. She got sick of the goody-two-shoes act and headed to Ghazni to blow up some Infidels when she met the fate met by most Muslim warriors: Arrested due to Double-crossing of informants. Some ill-informed commentators have tried to compare the case of Sister Aafia with that of Malala Yousafzai. Nothing can be farther from the truth. Aafia was a true Pakistani Muslim unlike the traitor Malala, who chickened out and had surgery to remove the bullet. If Malala were a true patriot, she would have embraced martyrdom. Aafia, in true Pakistani style, was not on the wrong end of the barrel when she shot at Infidel, Zionist, Capitalist, and Environmentalist American Soldiers. The so-called free and independent American Justice System treated Sister Aafia like a violent lunatic, despite her protestations to the contrary. She was sentenced to serve life-imprisonment. What a Shame!
Rumor has it that Aafia was sent to prison not due to the assault on American soldiers but because she was on the cusp of discovering the harmful effects of Polio Vaccine on Muslims. It has been reported that Caliph Abu Bakar Al-Baghdadi has summoned a force of able-bodied men (likely to be led by his 17 year old nephew) that will sail towards the Coast of Texas to liberate Sister Aafia. In related news, Jenji Kohan (a fellow Brandeis Alumnus) has decided to base a character on Sister Aafia in the third season of Netflix series “Orange is the New Black”. It is an utter disgrace that people in Pakistan have ignored their first truly global superstar while the west is celebrating her achievements. It is imperative that Pakistani nation doesn’t forget the sacrifices made in its name by Sister Aafia and honor her by naming the next ballistic missile after her. What Aafia did for the causes feminism, progressivism and emancipation of women in Pakistan, is unlikely to be ever repeated in this country.